Hell Hath No Fury

In September, while renewing my auto insurance, I found out that my Ex cancelled my AAA membership without telling me. It seems he wanted to add someone else to his membership. Since we only broke up last April, I guess he couldn't wait for the corpse of the relationship to grow cold before replacing me.

No doubt she is a good Christian woman. No doubt he is using catching little phrases like:

I would die for you (circa February 2004)
I will love you forever (circa March 2004)
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever know (okay, so I added that one myself)

Part of me is thirsty for revenge of the most devious sort, to make him feel the sting of anger and humiliation. Part of me couldn't really give a flying fuck and a rolling donut. That is the beauty of being Sychotic, I can feel both things at the same time.

So, instead I will amuse myself with things I could do to him:

I could leave a sardine to rot under the seat of his car. This might only irritate him though

I could send a change of address form for him, redirecting all his mail to Scarsboro Indiana...if there is a Scarsboro Indiana.

I could order gay porn in his name to be sent to his address...costly, but satisfying. Of course, if he hides it in time, it might not be sufficiently humiliating.

I could send a letter to the Mormon Chruch, requesting they send him a free copy of their bible...and a couple dozen missionaries.

I could sleep with his loser brother...but that might punish me more than it does him.

Any really good revenge ideas to fantasize about? I don't have the energy to actually do anything, besides talk smack about him behind his back.